1-2-11: Cat Ba Town to Hanoi

Today we used Hoang Long travel services to retrace our steps back to
Hanoi. First though we had to check out of our hotel and get
breakfast. The hotel proprietors speak zero English. In order for them
to do a load of laundry for us, they had to call an english speaker
for us to talk to on their mobile phone. At check out, there was no
translator. The man pointed to a paper that had our bill scratched on
it: two nights plus a load of laundry. Um...we only owe one night, but
of course we have no receipts. We give him money for one night and
laundry and hope hope hope we are correct. He didn't chase us down or
anything, so that was a good sign. We really think we paid for all the
other days.

After that hiccup, we got one last bowl of $1 pho and .50cent coffee
and went to sit at the travel agent place. The bus was coming at 9am,
a very reasonable time - no more of these 7am departures. This bus
took us to the correct harbor, then a boat took us to the mainland,
then a small bus took us to the bus station, then a big bus took us
into Hanoi. The multi-legged trip was uneventful, lots of staring out
the window and trying to sleep. We enjoyed our front row seats on our
last bus ride; we got to see exactly how close the driver came to
smashing little motorbikes and tiny taxis. In our giant bus, we ruled
the road.

Bia Hoi and Some Chicken Feet

We got back to the Luong Yen Bus Station in Hanoi at about 2pm,
famished. We fled from the bus station by foot to avoid the aggressive
taxi-wallas that lurk by the station and bee-lined for the bia hoi
place we tried last time we found ourselves hungry and on foot by the
bus station. This time was even more amusing than our last go round at
this tiny establishment. We sat down, ordered two bia hois and some
bang da (the flat puffy rice cracker). That part was easy, but we
needed real food, too. I asked for a menu, which our friendly server
from last time fetched promptly. Two slight problems: no prices and no
English. Robert used the pisser while I puzzled over the menu. He
likes to think that I can both read and speak Vietnamese fluently or
at least enough to get by, but he is flat-ass wrong on this account. I
knew, though, that he would be no help with the menu so I ordered two
dishes: fried chicken (ga rang muoi) and beef fried rice (com rang dua
bo) (based on my meager translation). The waitress repeatedly
confirmed the number of each dish that I wanted. Point..point.
Hai(two)? No, one. Point...point. Hai(two)? No, one. Was I ordering
way too little food for two people? No idea, but I stuck to my guns
and only ordered two dishes.

As we waited for our food, two extremely drunk Vietnamese guys
befriended us. It was impossible to communicate with them because they
spoke exactly zero english. They ordered us two more bia hois, on
their tab, they mimed. Then they bought us peanuts, too. We tried to
order two bia hois on our tab, for them, but their prowess in spoken
Vietnamese meant that the waitress followed their directions and not
ours. I think one of them kept forgetting that we didn't understand
vietnamese and would jabber on to us in Vietnamese, expecting an
answer. Invariably, Robert would look at me for translation and I
would laugh. Then the guy would say, "sorry! Sorry! Me no English!"
There was lots of cheers-ing and hand shaking and laughing. Oh, the
talkative guy also tried to get us to smoke with him. We had to refuse
three or four times until he mimed that he would smoke our cigarettes
for us, more laughing.

Finally our food came. A giant plate of fried rice and beef, a bowl of
salty soy sauce, and an enormous plate of fried chicken bits topped
with fried galangal slivers. Not bad, it mildly resembled what I tried
to order. It was so much food though! I thought it looked like a whole
chicken, but Robert only found one foot - so maybe just half a
chicken. :) He gnawed the foot, but it doesn't have much meat on it.
Are you supposed to eat the toes? We stuffed ourselves and drank our
beers and were quite content at the end of it all. When we got the
bill, the chicken was crazy more expensive than bar food should be. I
don't think it was unfairly expensive, we just had no idea how much it
would be when we ordered it. Ask before you buy, even if the prices
aren't marked, especially if the prices aren't marked.

Home and getting to our next home

We got a taxi, convinced him to turn on the meter and got back to the
Old Quarter for only 20,000d. Even cheaper than before! We got a room
at the same guest house we used before, but this time we got a room
with two doors, one accessing each of the two stairwells, interesting.
The room was also closer to the family's rooms and thus could pick up
the hotel's wireless, which we didn't even know was an option during
our last stay. Internet in our room; this place just keeps getting
better!

Now we needed to figure out how to get to Hue, pronounced 'hway.' We
asked around at a few travel agents for prices on buses and trains to
Hue, but they were either too expensive or full. Maybe we can do it
our own for cheaper...we get Internet at Tamarind Cafe to research our
options. Just as we are about to taxi over to the far away bus
station, we calculate fares and add-on taxi rides, the tourist sleeper
buses are similarly priced. After some walking up and down the street,
we find another recommended travel agency, ET-Pumpkin; who names these
places?? We bought tickets from them for $20 US per person, soft
sleeper bus it is called and it leaves tomorrow night at 6pm, taking
14 hours to get to Hue. What a ride that will be!!

Wandering and Eating

The rest of the day is occupied with wandering and eating. We get a
bia hoi from bia hoi intersection, but no bang da. Sad sad face. Robot
doesn't like trying to talk in Vietnamese and he didn't see any bang
da to point at, so we didn't get any. Sad sad face again. Next we
followed the scotsman's directions to a food street full of baby
plastic stools and a million people. We were given a small menu in
English and ordered two things: cai xao nam (fried mustard greens with
mushrooms) and my gion (crispy fried vermicelli). When our food came
out, it was oh so tasty. The vermicelli was topped with unexpected
meaty bits, but it was still good. They also served us a salad of
butter lettuce and cilantro and some thin sauce to dip in, which I
spiced up for our eating pleasure. Next we went to the walking streets
(fewer motorbikes than a street and no cars) by Dong Xuan Market. We
got some creme puffs for 14,000d and were very happy with them -
nothing like the nasty donuts proffered by the roving donut ladies!

We were nearly home, but it was early, so I tasked us to return to the
enticing looking French fry seller at the opposite end of the market.
It was quite a walk, but they sounded like a greets snack. When we got
there, a man with decent English tried to help us translate our desire
for French fries to the vendor. He said the fries cost 50,000d (the
price of an expensive dish at a sit-down restaurant) and we should
also get beer. We can pay that he said, $2.50, no big deal.
Um...except that the price should be much, much cheaper. No thanks, we
walked all the way back home without french fries; one of us sadder
than the other. Why did they have to jack up the prices so much? This
rarely happened in Thailand, but it seems the norm here. Very
frustrating.

(More amusing perhaps is the juxtaposition of the French fry incident
with Robert's earlier attempt to buy deodorant. Deodorant is hard to
find here and if you do find some, it is for girly armpits. Robert
found a stick of the exact kind he wanted (even his normal scent) and
plopped it on the counter when I noticed the price: 230,000d ($11
US)!! For one small stick of deodorant. Crazy. That was the sticker
price too, not an intentionally inflated price. It didn't seem worth
it to spend a fifth of our daily budget on deodorant, so we passed.)
--- the point is Robert was willing to pay $11 for deodorant (at least
twice what we pay at home), but not $2.50 for French fries. Crazy man.

How much are French fries at home? We couldn't come to a consensus.