11-29-10: Mae Sai to Chiang Mai

On Sleeping and Buses

Firstly, roosters. Why do they cockadoodle-do? Why do they
cockadoodle-do so loudly? Why do they cockadoodle-do so early? Why do
they cockadoodle-do so often? I truly want answers to these questions.
Perhaps then, I could sleep as opposed to ponder their answers.
Probably not, though, since the sheer sound and incessant nature of
these roosters seem to stymie my efforts. Have you ever heard of a
vegetarian who eats chickens? I might be willing to make that absurd
exception for roosters. To be plain, where ever we go there seems to
be a large population of roosters that when combined with the
necessity of open windows leads to very little sleep for one Ms.
Lauren Jennifer. Mae Sai was no exception.

In addition to the above rant on roosters, we have been sleeping
poorly in general. In an effort to sleep more restfully, we have
conceded to common advice and adopted a sleep schedule. We try to get
up at seven, but we haven't quite been successful yet. The alarm rings
and we snooze. We usually regret this decision and vow to do better
"tomorrow." Today, however, we had another reason to regret this
decision. We missed the bus.

To be more specific and fair, we didn't know the bus schedule and thus
rolled into the bus station at 9:42am. The first bus leaves at 9:45.
After a flicker of hope that we could jump on the bus before it pulled
away, sending us scurrying to the ticket office, it was full. The next
bus wasn't until 2pm, a LONG four hours away. To kill time, we decided
to venture to a nearby shopping center.

Tesco Lotus: Thai Walmart!

Thankfully, the shopping center was a very walkable distance away from
the bus station, although we did have to walk along a tiny shoulder on
a major road. (The other option was to cross behind some adolescents
peeing on a wall and bushwhack through ten foot tall brambles.) The
first thing we noticed was that all the parking was covered. We
couldn't fathom a reason, can you? We figured it was some sort of
grocery store, which is rare in a land full of street markets, but
upon entering, we realized it was none other that WAL-MART in
disguise, and the disguise was pretty flimsy, green coloring as
opposed to blue.

The similarity was uncanny. (By now I'm sure you have seen the
pictures.) There was a food court, complete with an extensive play
area/jungle gym. They sold aisles of random toys, camping equipment,
furniture, electronics, prepared and processed food, produce, liquor,
books and magazines. A little bit of everything. After several
reconnaissance missions, we decided on donuts, camembert cheese,
rambutan fruits, rosy crackers, yogurt, shampoo/conditioner, and two
packages of prepared noodles. All together it cost us about 500B. No
wonder they can stay in business.

Here's a mini-story about Wally World for your reading pleasure:

Immediately upon entering the store, we could smell them. Noses in the
air, we followed the scent to the bakery department, where they were
laid out in a colorful array: donuts. Including, I might add, powdered
sugar-covered bavarian cremes! Although the enticing aroma jammed most
of our mental processing, we knew it would be uncouth to start shoving
the donuts into our mouths, but how do you buy them? They were laid
out in open trays, unpackaged, so we couldn't just pick up a bag. We
found cafeteria style trays, tongs and sheets of wax paper, but then
what? There weren't tables to eat at here. Were we supposed to only by
as many as could fit in our cheek pouches? We were lost.

Thankfully there were several green-shirted helpers around to witness
our distress. One finally took pity on us, assembling tray, paper and
tongs and pushing them in front of me. Okay, we had correctly surmised
the first step. Lest she decide we were complete morons, I went ahead
and selected a medley of donuts, but she busied herself out of sight
before my eyes could ask what to do next. I turned in a few circles,
surveying the surrounds before Robert located another green shirt,
standing next to a scale and plastic bags no less. I didn't notice her
because she was packaging other baked goods like a shelf-stocker, not
a customer helper. Regardless, she packed our goodies into a plastic
bag and stuck them with a price tag. Success!

Bus Ride, Lodging and Dinner

We made it back to the bus station, got on our bus and spent the next
five hours retracing our path back down to Chiang Mai. Mostly it was
uneventful. I wrote (hence the last set of marathon posting). Robert
slept as best he could; he unfortunately has worse motion sickness
than I. We broke up the journey by consuming most of what we bought at
Tesco Lotus. This time we opted for the cheapest tickets available,
meaning the bus was old and barely able to scale the hills along the
way, but it was air-conditioned and we got to sit together. Adequate.

We got to Chiang Mai after dark, but we knew the city well enough to
keep us comfortable. Robert negotiated a fare to get to Pakinai Guest
House, but I undercut him and we ended up paying too much for a
crowded, convoluted songthaew ride into town. Next time, I won't
speak; I am still learning the clever art of negotiating. Pakinai was
full, save an air-con room that she wanted 350 for. We went down the
road to the skeezy Summit Hotel (not actually a hotel, by my
standards) and paid 230 for a double fan room with cold shower. Robert
wanted to see the room, but the woman recognized us from our first
trip through town when we considered, but rejected their room, so she
wouldn't show us a room again. They also made a fuss over our
passports and departure documents, etc. She didn't believe Robert was
the man in the picture on his copy of his passport. Then insisted that
he produce his departure papers, stapled into his real passport.
Annoying, but cheap and it will do for one night.

After relieving ourselves of our bags, we wanted a hot meal, even
after all our snacking. Across the street is a little Thai noodle shop
that does a rollicking business. I ordered noodle soup with veggies,
but I didn't quite feel like he understood me. When I was served beef
noodle soup, sans green onions, I was certain. Yum! But Robert enjoyed
his fried egg noodles with kale, pork and gravy. I supped on broth and
rice noodles and donated my beef slices and balls to the Robert fund.
Responding in kind, Robert let me eat his last donut and all was right
with the world. (our bed was made of concrete, but we barely noticed.)